Enfieldean

dean_r


There's a storm in my teacup!

Well, in my dollar store mug.


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Initial Perspective On America
One Bright Idea
dean_r
So, I'm starting to put things into boxes. Some fond memories amongst it all. This icon comes from a picture of a lightbulb that I doodled over, while on a Virgin plane. Jamie and I flew to Glen Rock, NJ, for the first time, and they gave us this booklet, and I used it to scrawl some American factoids down.

So, not sure how interesting it is to read someone else's perspective, but anything decent in it's being written up here, and then I'm trashing the book.

"355ml vs 330ml. 591ml vs 500ml."
One of the first things I care about in America is that the bottles and cans of soda have slightly more than European cans and bottles do.

"Can I have chicken strips? I've heard they're okay." - Dialogue from IHoP, the International House of Pancakes.
(While their pancakes became internationally famous, their chicken strips were not so fortunate.)

"Nickel (5) larger in size than dime (10) - confusing notion to Brit with sizist attitude."
Because the bigger the coin is, the more it's worth... unless the material is shinier... or not shaped like a circle.

"I am not a man yet. The cat likes me because I have a 'feminine' voice."

"I didn't realise Ace of Base were continentally famous. Good for them!"

"Oral surgeon? Silly pompous dentist."

"The shower nearly killed me. I've never heard the sentence 'water pressure' before, but I understand now."

"Sunkist is very orange, and therefore I adore it."

"Jamie's dad's hands are nowhere near as crazy as the lady with the crazy eye. I win that fight."

"Combos = ♥"

"Emily's family are all pleasant - and I can amuse Dave to the point of making him fall to the floor laughing. This may be exploited further."

"I dropped half of my first New York pretzel. New York hates me."

"Dentist trip: patients converse? I'm used to the morgue-like mentality of British patients. (Is this related to the American belief that they can throw money at the problem of aging/keeping healthy, and so share 'tactics' of survival, whereas Brits know we're all doomed?)"

"Jamie needs to stop lying to dentists - 'I need six drinks to get buzzed' - and now she's so full of drugs she can barely focus. I'm pleased with myself. I've not teased her at all while she's so out of it. Am sorely tempted though."

"Jamie's top five questions while way high, after wisdom tooth removal:
5. 'How long have I been here?' 4. 'How long did it take?' 3. 'Can I drink yet?' 2. 'Where am I?' 1. 'Is it done yet?'"

"Cheesecake Factory: very apprehensive of its pretentious glitz - but really good food. Makes me want to eat out more often."
(At this point in time, I barely went out for meals, aside from fast food. Diners were a revelation to me.)

"Our bus took a diversion down one of the steepest, tightest hills I've seen for a bus to be on. We took the wing mirror clean off an SUV. People in the bus thought we were going to die and were trying to get out of the windows, it was that steep. I enjoyed the ride."

"What do I want for the second week of this trip? Silvery grey Converse and navy blue shoelaces for them."
(Way to remember why I came over, Dean. Also: I never acquired those shoes, and still haven't.)

"Dave likes the word cheesecake."

"What the hell are 'cheese fries' and why have I not found them before now?"
Later: "'Cheese Fries' are an orgy on a plate. That is all."

"Was treated like a member of the English family after a few quick visits and two dinners with them. I can see why Jamie loves this family so much."
Later: "The love and compassion this family has aspires me to be a better person, and try to love as much as they do."

"Apprehensive about meeting Goodcow. He wants to bring a video camera. Jamie has a coldsore. It cannot go well."

"It helps to be in the turnstile of the NY Subway system before you turn it, and definitely helps to be the other side before the turnstile locks up. Finally, if you mess this up, your card will not work for twenty minutes. Knowledge is power."

"Chinatown - the home of cheap tat related to animals. Does attempting to force animal-lovers to buy tat work? Also home of 'bubble tea' - 'tea' with tapioca pearls. VILE."

"Phil does not like orange-tasting things. He may become my arch-nemesis."

"'I CURSE YOU!' - an Asian 5-year-old kid cursed me for I saw him waddle. America is great."

"We found a kiddy scooter. It was ugly. We named it 'Katilin'. We took Kaitlin underground at rush time, and also by bus to Central Park."
"This trip was especially good because small kids opposite me looked at me with admiration for having such a great toy."
"Kaitlin was ridden twice in a day. Jamie says that is better than her namesake should hope for."

"Phil is a vegetarian. I left, in his house, a ham and cheese sandwich. Unintentionally. Do I tell him? I feel bad now."
"We are the modern generation, for we spent 25 minutes putting film into a camera and felt that was an achievement."
"A stranger came up to us while putting the film into the camera - he said (paraphrased) 'Photography, eh? That's cool! But what about Jesus?', to which I replied, 'I'm sorry, I'm British,' and he skulked off, because that answer defeats any question from an American."

"We had bad weather on the eleventh day of the trip. Remind me that I need to live somewhere like that."

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So what are cheese fries? Regular fries with cheese on, or deep fried cheese?

Cheese fries, as the pic below implies, is indeed just regular fries with cheese on. Simple and delicious, depending on the cheese used.

Just ensure the cheese has melted. A British supermarket I will not choose to name attempted to replicate cheese fries for my friends. They put cold cheese onto tepid fries and added chives. It was a hilariously bad attempt at cheese fries, I was told.

I would have to type out a ridiculous amount of hearts to adquately express my love for these quotes.

Please to be visiting NYC again, for I will take you to the Shake Shack where the cheese fries are served in boxes and you eat them outdoors amongst sparrows and squirrels, who have learned to act cute and tame around people so as to earn a bit of cheese fry for themselves, but the cheese fries taste so good that they inspire greed and gluttony and therefore you would shoot anyone and anything (had you a gun) that comes within range of your precious, precious box of cheese fries.

ETA:


Edited at 2008-04-24 11:38 pm (UTC)

Oh, Christ. Yeah, no, I don't think so.

Also, Also home of 'bubble tea' - 'tea' with tapioca pearls. VILE.

You suck :P

I cannot begin to describe the awesomeness of the cheese fries served at this particular restaurant to someone who's never had cheese fries before, so I'm thinking it'd be a lost cause on my part.

Cheese fries are such a hefty dose of heaven, that if one has never had them, they can never imagine :)

As another who has never experienced cheese fries... they look awesome. As long as it's properly tasty cheese, and I can have chilli sauce with them.

Oh, it's properly tasty cheese, alright. It's not that orange stuff that congeals almost immediately to form a plastic coating over your fries, it's actually very creamy. I'm not sure if they have chili sauce as a condiment, so you'd probably have to bring a packet of your own :)

I am prepared to do that. In fact.. I may have to make a condiment utility belt...

Remember the bacon salt!

There'd be a whole salf subsection.. sea salt, chicken salt, bacon salt, chilli salt, garlic salt... if there's a salt, I'll have it!

I think cheese fries are better when it's real cheese melted and not the liquid cheese, though!

Those cheese fries need a little seasoning. Maybe some bacon salt. Then it would be completely wondrous.

Well, no, to be fair, it looks pretty damn sexy without the bacon salt.

Those make me feel hungry and nauseous at the same time. Behold the power of the cheese fries!

Surprisingly enough, nobody has tried to make Cheesy JoJos.

OMG this entry made me laugh so hard. I forgot all the crazy, hilarious moments on that 2 week trip.

Dude the shower upstairs is terrifying, isn't it? After living in the UK that shower felt like needles. It was like getting tattooed with water beads.

THAT BUS WITH CJ! That was the scariest ride ever and of course it happened when you were on it. Remember how long that traffic was too? When we went down the hill it was like a roller coaster. I seriously thought we were going to flip over.

I need to use that fisheye camera again. Let's make sure we do that when we get to Seattle.

That trip was awesome. It goes down in history as my favorite, by far. And it's weird that of all vacations I'd choose to love, it was the vacation back home I liked best :)

I think you should keep that book.

I didn't know that European soft drinks were slightly smaller. Wow, we are pigs over here!

Do you hate tapioca pearls in general or just the ones in that particular bubble tea? Tapioca pearls make me ill. I ate too much of this Asian dessert that involves tapioca pearls, among other things, when I was 8 or 9. I vomited everywhere. To this day, I can't eat tapioca, or even smell that particular dessert being cooked, without gagging. TMI story of the day!

I love Cheesecake Factory food; it's 3 days' worth of calories, though, and really expensive stuff. But I love me some.

Aussie soft drinks are 600mL bottles (or 390) and 375mL cans. Werd.

That's because it takes an extra six months to be ported for the Australian market.

Ooooh, burn. Yet so true. Someday, we'll have smash brothers... some day...

sniff...

I don't like tapioca pearls at all. I like my drinks to be of a similar consistency. My mouth is not a fan of textures that it cannot comprehend.

I also find mashed potatoes make me want to gag all the time, because it feels like I'm eating cotton wool, and I really don't like the texture of cotton wool around me at all.

Try getting a bottle of vodka and leaving spearmint leaves in it to disolve. Give it three weeks or so and it'll be green with a mucusey texture. Luvverly!

Try leaving fries in a bottle of water. Give it three weeks or so and you get a quite rancid smelling thing.

Quite why I decided to put fries in a bottle of water is another matter. Also, quite why I decided after it smelled bad after one week, why I kept it for two more weeks...

The first thing is natural. The rest is brilliance.

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