June 16th, 2003

Enfieldean

How soppy may one get?

I have just felt... bizarrely happy over the last few hours. A giddy happiness, a day that's just been ridiculously pleasant all over. When the potential for problems may have began, something nice came along. I've had people asking me if I was drunk because I just seemed so happy and filled with a childish excitement to life today. Thing is, it's just my mind working really sharply. It's the pleasure of feeling like a someone to so many. It's the ability to enjoy things I shouldn't be, but being grateful for what I have been able to do regardless. It's the joy in knowing as young/old as I am, I can still learn and I can always teach someone something new.

It's pride. It's not smugness, I know my weaknesses, but I will use them as a foundation to make me stronger. It's not being egocentric, the world isn't revolving around me and I'm pleased it isn't. I wouldn't like to think my mass could cause a gravitational situation like that.

It's me being me and despite not being much, being damned proud about who I am right now, and I need to remember this, because some time in the future I know I'll get down, and I'll want to look at a time when I felt so mentally strong, so peaceful, so good.

Hm, an inverted angst post. How bizarre.