December 25th, 2006


Merry Christmas!

I am remarkably well for what is going on around me. Karma handed me a few presents I deserved this season and I've eventually taken them with a smile on my face. Fate is fate. Things happen for a reason. But now I have less reasons to stop any potential exploration of who I am. Of course, one could look at this and ask why I gave myself reasons to stop. I've no answer. It was stupid of me. But things happen for a reason.

My 'best' present is to be self-bought: I am going to go back and visit my family in the middle of March or early April and pick up presents from them there, and likewise come over to England with a suitcase full of treats for them. This coincides with a vicious recurring dream where I would get hit by a car as I walk to buy my Nan cigarettes on my 24th birthday. Do I want to tempt fate? I kind of do. March is the better time to go, but I really do want to show my psyche I'm not scared of its phenomenal powers of premonition. But the flip side is that it's easier to organise a birthday party in your own continent, if such a thing will occur.

I also have a festive story: three days ago, I took a less normal route from work to home. Along the route I found $20 on the ground. Typically, money calls you and wants you to pick it up, especially at this time of year, where it wants to go and visit $20 friends in a cash register somewhere. But I felt sick picking the money up. I didn't feel excited with this find. I didn't really want it at all. But money is money and my mind eventually told me to shush and go. I could use this money and buy a better present. Treat someone with it. Give it to charity. Use it wisely.

As I came home I found a message about a friend who'd gone to a party and had $10 stolen and another friend who had a Nintendo DS (value: $130) stolen. Fortunately, the DS was returned but the money has not been. My mind, in terms of how it believes fate works, demands I hand the person who lost the $10, the $20. For the shake-up that being stolen from causes. If this isn't a good plan, and the person will not take it, I'll donate it to an animal sanctuary we're set to take one of our cats to. We can't handle him and his peeing issues. We don't enjoy having to smell our clothes every time we pick something up. And if you're after an angle on the situation: if karma is indeed after me this season, I may as well try and deflect it away with good intentions for a little while.

I received a stupendous Christopher Walken t-shirt and a lovely ragged-looking pinstriped jacket. I'd set all my hopes on finding or getting a beautiful hoodie with pinstripes and a fleur-de-lis on it. It really made me happy. But it was not meant to be. Yet this jacket has more personality to it anyway. I must use it well. I received a miniature William Shakespeare with a charming comic inside it. I received more Chargrilled Steak McCoy's from England. I received a nice fluffy cap that has headphones built into it - if we had working music players lying around, I'd be really excited by this. Instead, I'm just going to have to buy a new music player. I received many forms of candies. I received a Nintendo DS Lite holder in the hope that I'd never use a glove for my console's protection (though alas the glove will remain, for I do not have a DS Lite). I have a Starbucks gift card which I may have misplaced already. I'm terrible with gift cards. I live around too much paper and scribbles and scrawls. And it can just get mixed with these little scraps of paper and pushed into a box of words and put away for future reference.

My favourite presents that I received for this year are the beautiful cards and calls and text messages from people wishing me a Merry Christmas. I really appreciate this more than anything: any other present, any explanation I could offer to show my happiness, anything. I miss my family like crazy and I had initially intended to go back and visit and be there today, but a lack of time and money (alongside the joys of work commitments) snuck up on that idea and engulfed it for later review. So to have extra interaction with people at this time of year lifts me a little more.

For every call on the cellphone or text message you left ( 253-468-1470 ) or letter that you sent, or email or MySpace message I received - or even LJ comments I may receive for this post, or even just reading up to this far: Thank you all. I can't explain how much I love you for it.

I'm going to get washed and presentable and tidy up a little and try to go for a drink or a bite to eat somewhere. I feel creative. I am going to make badges/buttons for people. I have been told where the machine to make this is. I also had a great idea for a self-analysis book, which involves very little writing on my part, but a hell of a load of research. I will continue to work on this until something else comes along.

Have a great day, people. And a great 2007. I intend to! I typically enjoy odd-numbered years. Another exact opposite that caused fate to intervene.
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    Tori Amos faintly, Jamie on a cellphone