Dean Rivers (dean_r) wrote,
Dean Rivers

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Covering a shift...

Off to work at twelve. I jumped at the chance of wanting extra hours to work. Or to be more honest, Mum decided I should do something instead of sleep and dawdle for a few hours and I'm agreeing. Even if I really do enjoy my usual 5 AM to noon sleep pattern. It actually feels like something concrete around the growing amounts of randomness in my day.

Already my body is saying "Hey, it's before twelve and you're awake. Are you asking for trouble later on tonight?" and my mind is saying "Yes! I am set to love the constant pain!"

I feel shocked by how much I can help people and how I can drop everything for people who don't expect me to. Yesterday I wasn't exactly up for fussing over someone, but someone was internet suicidal[1], and I tried to help them all I could, and seemed to get them smiling by the end of things. Which is... not really that major on the scale of things, but still feels nice to know you made a difference. I guess when I put myself into a position where I try to help, the only thing I'm hopeful for is for the other person to be in a better frame of mind by the time we stop talking. You can't always make people happy, but you can make people think.

Sometimes fate has an odd way of making you remember the past. I don't enjoy talking of some of it, but it's not something you should hide from, when all is said and done. But I'm never one to hold grudges. I hope they don't either.

My, I never realised I was this vague before noon.

[1] Internet suicidal is essentially a diluted case of regular suicidal. People can seem to ham up to get more attention. People can also twist why things are so bad in their lives to gain extra sympathy.

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