"Hello, Games Station."
"Oh, hello. I'm, er, looking for a game for my friend."
"Oh. what title are you after especially?"
"...right. On what console?"
"Well, I know it was on an old console so I know they've made one for the new purple Sony Playstation machine."
"I'm afraid the Playstation isn't purple."
Uncomfortable pause. I try to guess what she might mean.
"Do you mean the Gamecube?"
"Er, I guess so."
"Is it a console that plugs up to the TV?"
"Yes, like the Playstation. I thought they were all Playstations."
"No, this is a rival brand."
"Oh. Anyway, do you have this game?"
"I'm afraid not. It's a bit of an old title, and I wager it won't be updated for the Gamecube."
"Whyever not? My friend wants it, surely it must be available somewhere."
At this point I wanted to ask if it was someone doing a Biffo2, but thought against it and politely explained that she had a slim chance finding it elsewhere, despite her claim that some other store must have it and that I "was being cheeky".
Oh, and as I type this the S Club Kid1 comes in. Every Saturday morning without fail (and most weekday mornings too) he wanders around, looking interested in the videos, then comes up to the counter and asks for S Club 7 posters. I almost wish I could draw some for him, the poor chap. He then complains in this order:
a) Why we have posters up for other films that aren't out yet.
b) Why we have films for kids (especially why we have Postman Pat. "That's not a film.")
c) Why the people who send us posters don't send us an S Club 7 poster just for him.
He's 7 members short of an S Club, he is (hoho, the wit).
1 By kid I actually mean 20-year-old. But S Club Man sounds a bit... depressing for humanity?
2 Mr. Biffo was behind Digitiser. He produced a section called Phoning Honey. An excerpt of Phoning Honey is here: http://www.moleman.freeserve.co.uk/honey.htm
Back to work.