Dean Rivers (dean_r) wrote,
Dean Rivers
dean_r

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Maybe it's because I'm a Londoner...

...that I seem to get myself into positions that require an intense level of concentration, that can also cause a ridiculous level of stress in my life.

Tomorrow I must now go out of my way to help an idiot sort out his computer. He needs Nero installed, Musicmatch re-installed, I need to teach him and his sister how to burn CDs and I need to find a rom.

Note #1: Any of you know where I could find the rom Spiderman - Maximum Carnage for SNES or Genesis?
(thanks, radiodave!)

Quite frankly, this will be hell because so much will go wrong and I will grow annoyed before I resolve this. I don't know why I said I'd do it...

Oh yes, I do - it's because I'm currently being shafted at work, and he may at least pay me for helping him out. He suggested he would, but I wager something'll occur and he won't. Anyway, someone's stolen half of my work schedule over weekdays so I'm down to 12 hours a week for this fortnight. This does not impress me, given if it wasn't for my frequent visits to the shop I'd not have known of this. I'd have gone into work tonight and found I'd be walking home again. Now, fair enough, a rest is fine. Lets me play games and whatnot. Calm before the storm and all that... except, I now need money because...

...Mum has got a county court summons for a bill backdated two years ago. I've had to elect to pay this bill off because nobody else has money, and I assumed I'd be working so the dent into my bank account wouldn't be exceptionally severe. So that's any indulgences off the agenda for the near future, and a pleasant £270 to go out of my bank account.

The list of things I needed to do yesterday were put on hold for writing to Lynne - my friends mean a lot to me. Of course, this bill does mean the offer to help her financially could become more of a burden than I'd like, but I'm good to my word if she needs help. So in the near future I still need to do the things my family requested. Oh, and go shopping. I'm living on crisps right now. I might go at midnight. It's time where I do nothing but chat but...

...all of this leaves my mind ticking over rapidly. And when I'm in an intense mood, I'm really not able to converse well at all. Apologies therefore to the people who tried to pester me tonight, who I may have snapped at.

I'm going to go have a bath. It'll force me to relax somewhat.

When I'm intense I also do things so much better. I'm typing around 50-60 WPM right now without mistakes, I'd say. It's only when I begin to cool down and calm, that I get to about 40 at best, with errors strewn all over the place. Odd, that. It's like untapped potential: another gear I've yet to find out how to get to properly. It's pleasing to know it's in me, at least, even if I can't get to it all the time.

So maybe that's why I get stressed. It makes me a more efficient person when I am. Doesn't sound right, though, enjoying stressful situations to improve myself...
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