It was a good thing, really, we'd not have got on in person. I was deluding myself with feelings for her, and it was lust more than anything, certainly not worth travelling half the world for. I was just flattered she cared so much and seemed to reciprocate the emotions she offered back, even though fundamental things about us meant we'd have been a disaster in person. Still, I was new to internet relationships and matured a fair bit from that moment.
I was left with a lot of money, but feeling upset with how Mum was forcing me towards something I didn't want to do (and still being too timid to tell her this was something I hated the sound of) I wanted to travel desperately, still.
This ended up being a bad thing to desire.