Plump woman walks to counter. "Get me Legalise Stitch," she says.
"Er, Lilo and Stitch?"
"No! LEGALISE STITCH!"
My, someone's on their period.
"Not this one?" I walk over and show her the cover of Lilo and Stitch.
"NO..." She examines the case carefully, though. "Wait. I guess it's that one. If not you'll refund me."
I'm afraid at this point I got quite evil.
"Well, you're welcome to look around for Legalise Stitch."
"I'm very busy."
"I see."
I got lucky. The phone rang. I picked it up, it was a fax. I began to have a two minute conversation to it, this lady getting quite upset at my actions. She kept turning around outside, which suggested she'd left her car parked outside. It's illegal to park a vehicle just outside our shop, but people still do. I ensured once the "phone call" ended, I did everything slowly. I asked her for her membership card, she didn't have it on her. When I asked for her surname I ensured I misheard it a few times.
I then saw her account had money owing due to the insurance charge. I explained the insurance charge in great detail, and eventually found the film. She must have been waiting six, seven minutes, getting more and more red as time passed.
She threw the cash down on the counter, and zoomed out. I then heard her shouting outside, and after a bit of arm-wobbling she stormed back in, shouting at me that she'd got a parking ticket thanks to my slow service. I pointed out if she had her card she'd have been out of here far earlier.
Sometimes this job is too enjoyable.
Update: Kid wants Stuart Little. Parent shows them a picture of Chucky on front of Child's play, says "Isn't he a cute toy?"
I think a point was missed.
I just wish stitch was legalised though, would make things so much more pleasant.
And how is it your fault she parked illegaly? The wench.
I've had conversations with nothing before. Just put your hand in your pocket, locate the ringer volume button on your cell phone, then press it. Act a little surprised, fumble for a bit for getting it, peer at the screen - the little motions make a difference. Then you can a confusing little conversation.
"Hello?"
"What?"
"No, no - not until we're ready."
"4 AM."
"Alright."
Then avoid the subject of the phone call like the plague.
You can also use the volume control button to turn your cell phone into a radar device / metal detector / whatever. Just swing it around, saying, "I'm detecting cluelessness in the area," having it beep every once in a while. Point it towards your intended victim and make it go crazy (for me, holding the button works great). Yay!
I don't think I'd have the guts to try to do any of this stuff to a stranger, though.
It's just when one shows ignorance when trying to appear superior that irks me.
Silly girl with the silly name.
And anyway, she'd never have to worry about a ticket at all if she'd parked legally. Silly woman. I hope she hates the movie.
Also...
And did the clueless parent in the update get Chucky for the kid? ;)