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There's a storm in my teacup!

Well, in my dollar store mug.

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My local pizza company are excellent.
Ickle Cute Thing
I've not felt too good, so I ordered my usual pizza as a pick-me-up. I'm allergic to tomatoes so I order a pizza that's double salami, double mushroom, no puree. I order a 15" pizza and consume it over two days (I eat three quarters now, the other quarter is reheated at some other time).

Normally the conversation would be trying to find the phone number, address, the order (my order is an odd one - and it's a special offer I get as a privilege). However, when I catch the manager when I call, it goes like this.

"Hello, Roma Bella Pizza, how can I help?"
"Hi there, this is..."
"Ah, hello! How are you?"
"Not too bad, thanks. And you?"
"I'm good. So would you like your usual?"
"Deep pan or thin crust?"
"Thin crust this time, please."
"There's a bit of a queue but we'll get your one going next. It'll be about thirty minutes."

If that isn't excellent, what is?

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That is indeed, excellent, and a lot like my takeaway here.

"Uncle Sams?"
"I'd like to place an order please."
"Chicken pizza for your brother, and four pieces of southern fried with chips for you?"
"Usual address?"
"Be with you soon, thank you!"


I ate five days a week at this deli over the summer, because it was the best place to get food near where I worked. As a result, they would often name the item I had ordered last time right off the bat.

The problem was, I rarely had the same thing two days in a row, so my lunchtime always included something like:
"Hi, may I help you?"
"Yes, I'd li-"
"The BBQ Chicken sandwich?"
"Uh, uh. No, sorry, the bagel & lox."

So. That kind of backfired.

There was a Chinese food place that kept track of their delivery orders electronically, such that you only had to give them your name and address once. After that, giving them your phone number would be enough to let them look you up. That's not as charming, though.


That sounds more like fatness. Are you overweight?

Slightly underweight. Saturday night's my indulgence night, most of the time I'm reasonably sensible with what I eat.

"Hello, this is Pizza Hut."
"Yeah, hi, I'd like a meat feast, a-"
"Oh, it's you."
"Yes it is."
"I've told you not to ring back here again."
"Yeah, I know. But I want a pizza, and Dominoes-"
"Look, piss off."

Dial tone.

Meat feast? No it's not! It's cheese and tomato puree on a dough base, with bits of meat on. That's hardly a meat feast, that's hardly a thing to make the average carnivore salivate.

I demand them to use gammon steaks as bases, at the very least!

Escellent would have been a hot girl delivering it to you.


I'm passing the message on to a hot girl as we speak, for next time.

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