Dean Rivers (dean_r) wrote,
Dean Rivers

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I'm afraid there are no cards to send, and I'm afraid if I've not sent out a present, I'm unable to afford anything else. I had money budgeted for cards, and had for a few more presents to friends, but problems have sprung up.

First of all, to anyone who I have bought anything for, DO NOT FEEL GUILTY. I don't need any more grief or anxiety.

My Nan has two dogs. The eldest one, Cloie, is getting on now. Earlier in the week, she collapsed under her own weight, she needed to have an urgent operation. Her teats were growing lumps, not cancerous but life-threatening given her age. Her weight ballooned up, and her thirst for water was unquenchable. She would sit in the kitchen besides the water bowl, whining all day and most of the night.

They needed to open her stomach, take out all of her teats to prevent any more growths, they found a lot of fluids in her that weren't meant to be, so she's got pouches inside her and pipes near the back of her hind legs to try to help get these fluids out of her, which should help her recover.

The operation happened Wednesday. She's got stitches going across her entire stomach. Parts of her stomach cut away. Pipes around where teats used to be. She looks a state and was in awful pain last time I called Nan. I could hear her in the background really upset. The operation in its entirety will cost around £300 if it goes as planned, £150 had to be paid upfront for this part of the operation, the rest paid as processes of the operation are checked to see if it was a success (when the stitches are taken away, when the bags are removed to see if the juices are gone as they should be) because the vets understand it's a difficult time to find money.

Nobody in the family has much money. My nan's friend Bill offered £50 towards it, it was all he had, he always ties his money up to get that extra .7% percent of an interest rate. So I put £100 in towards it. This was money I was gonna use in case people visited, and on more presents and cards, but some of my less-close friends are gonna have to go without and there'll be no cards this year.

I also had to go to the doctor's today: a routine six-month checkup. I was told as always that I'm unusual, my blood pressure is higher than normal, but given what I've been through that's expected. The two-mile trek to the surgery could have had something to do with the results too, I dunno. Either way, I'm to go back in a month, see if this is just a momentary blip. He did tell me I get into too many stressful situations, though. But it's not as if I can take a step back from life... stress happens to a lot of people over this time, you've got to just get on with it.

A source of positivity could be on the horizon, I've talked to someone more who does seem to care about me a great deal and I have a feeling when we meet, things could go very well. We have wonderful talk after wonderful talk and it has been relaxing to have her near. And hey, with the doctor suggesting I need some time to relax, the two things happening around the same time... sometimes things fall along with curiously good timing.

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