dean_r

It's been a strange weekend, and a busy one also. But most of all, it's been an amusing weekend, despite minor problems popping up erratically. This is the type of journal post I've had to structure before writing, so be prepared for an epic rollercoaster of emotions and abject stupidity!

On Friday I got my first birthday card for this year, from Bill. Due to the plushes and pictures of Sparkster and Sonic on these bedroom walls, the card had a picture of a cartoon dog on the front 'because I like those things'. Touché. The card features the message "Bet your 21st's..." with positive sets of words on the front of the card to complete the sentence. For some reason one of the options is "Mr. Groovy", and that does not make any sense inside or outside the context of the sentence. I am as groovy as a heavily-sandpapered LP.

As I left for work on Saturday (enjoying Arsenal's loss) I walked past a decoratively-coloured van for some medical company, with the delightful slogan of "Service at the speed of life"! The average human lives for around 60 years. That's pretty shoddy service and they're admitting quite openly to it, using italics of all things. You see, that's what happens when someone tries to 'think outside the box' regarding puns. People, understand this and recall it, for it is a vital lesson in life - puns are dangerous and not to be used higgledy-piggledy.

Work on Saturday was very fun. I talked to Astrid regarding a few subjects:

• mobile phones - unlike most people I have no concern over the phone I end up with, but am searching avidly to find a good tariff for me. The no-frills phone I may end up getting has a novel name which Jess enjoyed seeing and misreading initially... I'll let you guess what she may have seen it as.


• Darth Vader - he really does look better with a badly-drawn moustache and pair of glasses.


• Matrix Revolutions - we enjoyed a picture in one of the film magazines that showed the jaw-shattering punch delivered onto Agent Smith, and we snickered that just like the picture, the film was indeed a disturbingly painful affair.

I'd also called up a friend who has been considering buying Resident Evil Zero after seeing some of the game footage. As the shop had bought in a copy of it, he could get it really cheap second-hand. He was delighted and wanted it, and said he would pay me back later. The slight problem was that he didn't have a working Gamecube, which he didn't tell me about. Well, in absolute honesty, he didn't have a Gamecube at all, and I'd forgotten that. I was a bit dim there. I'd also picked up the anniversary edition of Space Invaders, primarily to hold onto and sell in the future for stupid money - we'd had to try to get a copy of Bubble Bobble on the PSone for someone earlier on in the day, and had to pay £40 for it. I might let Cliff and Mum play it, after all, if they're entertained on the PS2 they're not on the PC.

One other thing of note happened before work had finished and Astrid's dad drove me home and I thanked him by nearly letting him run me over (I had the option of walking in front of his car or behind his car, I chose the latter as he usually drives ahead to turn round, instead he reversed out of the cul-de-sac). Astrid desperately wanted to play Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes on the Gamecube at work. Just as she was considering having a go, two runtish lads came up and asked if they could rent it. Astrid looked like she could have hit the kids, so I lied to the kids, saying the game had been rented before and it'd crashed several times a few minutes in; as a result my co-worker would have to try the game for a few minutes to ensure it worked. Astrid was barely able to keep a straight face while I lied out of mine, but she was squeaking in a corner of the shop as she enjoyed the game for a few minutes, before we reluctantly handed the game to the kids, who we knew wouldn't appreciate the game. However, what made this escapade more special was the fact that the kids attempted to double-bluff my bluff later.

"Hello, Game Station."
"Hi, we came in earlier, that Metal Gear Solid's been crashing."
"Oh?" I began to smile, knowing this was more likely: they were awful at the game and were fishing for a refund. "Well, return it, we'll have to check it again, except we know it works here... what we'll do is stick it out as available to rent again. If the next person who rents it says it crashes we'll reimburse you the cost of renting it."

I also learnt on Saturday how to cook mushrooms perfectly. If they're dark brown they're nearly done, if they're cremated they've been slightly overdone.

Now for the story of Sunday...