I let the fact somebody actually took the time to say they loved me and wanted to be with me, block my vision. I've lived a lot of the last few months with my heart before my head, and when I look back at myself, it shows. I led myself on a merry walk, like a lemming to a cliff.
Someone I know said "Love is a wonderful, wonderful thing." And they're right. In honesty, it brought the best out in me. With love, I felt a far better human being. I felt I had more worth than before (although, when you're not particularly confident of yourself in the first place, that doesn't mean much). Since then, I've learnt how to love my friends just as much as I did my girlfriend. A valuable thing to have learned, seeing if I hadn't, this break-up could have really smarted, and I'd not have been sure who to turn to.
That was strangely insightful for me, from those days.
I'm still an immature kid at heart. I still have a lot of growing up to do. I'm only just classified as an adult, and in honesty, with what I've done since I've been 18, I don't feel I warrant calling myself an adult yet.
After the trip to the US, that was the first thing I re-read and really thought about, and looked back on frequently.