Dean Rivers (dean_r) wrote,
Dean Rivers

Ian Holloway, QPR manager, Oracle of football.

I keep talking about him to Jess on AIM, and I've decided that after reading enough quotes from him, sod it, I have to post them up here. This man is the king of analogies.

Every dog has its day - and today is woof day! Today I just want to bark. - after QPR's promotion-winning victory at Sheffield Wednesday

It was tense and I was dying for the toilet. As soon as Kevin scored, I went! - after QPR's win over Wrexham.

We need a big, ugly defender. If we had one of them we'd have dealt with County's first goal by taking out the ball, the player and the first three rows of seats in the stands - after QPR's game with Notts County.

If you can keep your noses in front at the end, that's what counts. It's been said that I have a bit of a Roman nose and I am keeping it ahead at the moment. Hopefully it's all about the length of your hooter because I might be in front at the end of the season as well! - after QPR's win over Brighton.

To put it in gentleman's terms, if you've been out for a night and you're looking for a young lady and you pull one, you've done what you set out to do. We didn't look our best today but we've pulled. Some weeks the lady is good looking and some weeks they're not. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi. She may not have been the best looking lady we ended up taking home but it was still very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much and let's have coffee - after QPR's lacklustre victory against Chesterfield.

Most of our fans get behind us and are fantastic. But those who don't should shut the hell up or they can come round to my house and I will fight them - in reaction to booing by QPR fans at their team, against Port Vale.

My day didn't start very well. The Holloway household had to have our dog put down unfortunately, but that's life. I've just said to the lads: 'You're born and you die on a date. You've got to work on the dash in the middle.'

I can't see into the future. Last year I thought I was going to Cornwall on my holidays, but I ended up going to Lyme Regis.

It's like the film Men in Black. I walk around in a black suit, white shirt and black tie where I've had to flash my white light every now and again to erase some memories, but I feel we've got hold of the galaxy now. It's in our hands. - Ian's views on QPR's financial difficulties.

You never count your chickens before they hatch. I used to keep parakeets and I never counted every egg thinking I would get all eight birds. You just hoped they came out of the nest box looking all right. I'm like a swan at the moment. I look fine on top of the water but under the water my little legs are going mad.

You can say that strikers are very much like postmen: they have to get in and out as quick as they can before the dog starts to have a go.

The man, the legend. Idolise him!

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