Dean Rivers (dean_r) wrote,
Dean Rivers

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Status: stasis.

It's been a strange... while since the computer broke. A week or so, from the last post, apparently. I've felt a bit frumpy when the computer's broken down in the past. Without nearby company who I could convince to meet me short-term - it's difficult enough to with preparation time - I get frumpy. However, with Jamie practically living with the family, Asti and Truds not having to worry of uni short-term, and other friends from school returning from their uni experiences, I've been able to travel around and enjoy the company of lots of people all over again.

I haven't missed the online world so much as a result. With so many instances that I've talked to people in the last week, with so many silly and serious topics discussed, it's making things on here seem so much more artificial. The words typed by people in IMs and journals still show a strong emotion, but one you can't react to and attempt to resolve so easily as someone looking sad on the other side of a room, who needs a hug to feel better. There's too many drama queens online, who weave a melodramatic sob-story every now and then just to get a bit of attention, and I'd rather avoid these people when they act like that, instead of waiting for them to tell me I don't care about them enough when I don't focus all my attention on them.

You also can't have a comfortable silence online. That matters a lot more to me than most, I'm not one for conversing online over nothing subjects. Hence why I'm often offering music or recieving music or helping people or asking for help with things, so that the conversation has more substance compared to me talking of how I just got up and did sod all.

The computer-breaking has helped my attitude to work. It was something I wasn't getting excited about any more - I'd come in and chat to people online between the work I did. It became monotonous quickly. In the last month things changed, with Tony (an old friend from infant school days) and Jamie popping by, alongside random friends I don't expect to see - their company cheers me up and makes the dark nights fly by. Since then, going online and chatting to people while at work feels frustrating, with conversation too stinted due to customers I serve between the nattering. I also might be able to get Jamie working here for a few hours a week, which'll help her financially and mentally. The lack of doing much (especially now, between terms) is making her feel like she doesn't fit in, an unfair burden given how the UK makes it hard for foreign students to get a job over here.

Still, I'll get the PC updated in the short-term future. I've done well out of eBay and that money will buy me a quasi-upgrade; a good motherboard and a new processor with a case I don't hate should do the job. But I think while Jamie's over here I'll not worry so much of speaking to people. Not that I don't like talking to people - I make it easy enough for people to contact me, or at the very least leave me a message. But I've a lot of friends who I don't want to neglect living near to me right now, and I've been stupid and lost them before from trying to do too much for internet friends instead, and don't envisage doing that again anytime soon.

In other news, I've developed a little bit of a double chin, it seems. The first sign of growing outwards rather than upwards. I'll be a plump chap yet!

Also, a late Christmas present arrives tomorrow - a futon-thing. I'll upload a pic if it seems interesting to do so when it arrives. It doesn't really count as a present as this is the thing Mum put the deposit on, expecting me to pay for, because the other one's been falling apart - something I've slept on for the last few months without any problems to me. Still, sometimes change is good. Though mother has been using this new arrival to attempt to completely change the positioning of the items around the room again. Something really must upset her about the room as it is.

I have also grown to dislike personal music players. They make people more irritable when you need to get them out of their little world, they make people do stupid things too: I've seen too many people in their own little world forget to look whilst crossing roads - this comment comes from some kid who nearly got hit just outside the shop. At least it's a step off the world of the person who uses a mobile phone loudly and in public. There's nothing better in the world than having a mobile phone when you need to meet someone, and as a way of feeling more secure, but it's another artificial niche I grumble over.

Leaving a scarf over a radiator allows for a toasty neck. It's a very nice sensation. Try it!

Lastly, I hope you people had a decent Christmas and have a good New Year's celebration when it passes for you. I'll be at Nan's with Bill and Jamie, watching it go by on television - a drab way to do it, but it's traditional for the family. I enjoy the laissez-faire lifestyle. It doesn't get you very far in any direction, but given I've not worked out a direction for my life beyond the basics, that's more than enough for me.

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