Dean Rivers (dean_r) wrote,
Dean Rivers

  • Mood:
  • Music:

All of the instructions are in words.

Here's the epic thing, then. It'll be a long post, but if you don't have time for this post, you don't have time for the life-altering moment of me, Mr. dean_r.

Some of you have caught me at the right time on messaging programs to know about this, but to a fair amount of you, this may be a shock. I realised this as Jamie and I talked last night. I don't usually write in a sappy fashion on this journal. I explained I met Jamie, I explained that she moved in, I explained that we travelled around a lot together. I thought everyone could connect the dots to form a heart, as it were.

Y'see, the problem this relationship faces is that we've been living together now since September, so we have a good idea of how well we get on around each other. But with Jamie's visa only temporary, we jokingly talked about how the only way we'd be able to stay together in January would be marriage. Come March, we were so happy about being with each other, and certain we wanted to keep the relationship going for as long as possible, we looked into the ways that Jamie could stay over here. And the only way she could stay was: to get married. This wasn't a bad thing, as we wanted to commit to each other at some time - it just surprised us how strict and difficult it is to remain with someone you love if you're not born in the same country as them.

We obtained the forms that gave Jamie the chance to get married to me in the UK (as intercontinental marriages aren't the norm and extra paperwork is needed) but had to wait until we got back from our trip to America to send them off, due to the desire of the preliminary papers wanting our passports to confirm who we are.

It's now May, and we've just come back from America. Jamie's talked to her family, explained the situation, said this may be the last time they see her for a while, and comes to terms with leaving everything behind. But deep down she's homesick - for her friends, for her food, for her town. Enfield hasn't offered her any concrete opportunities to work and people still demean her for being American. Meanwhile, I saw a pleasant area where she lived. I understand that the same problems could happen for me if I went there; I might struggle to find a job at first, I might struggle to deal with the food and the loss of my close friends. But I asked Jamie if it might be better if we got married in America, and I moved there. Thinking from the head and the heart, it seems a wiser option.

I met more of Jamie's friends in the two weeks that we were in America than I've introduced her to here. Enfield isn't the home of the interesting individual - it's mob culture at times, and there's only a handful of people in the local area that I consider my friends. But then I only see these friends sporadically - once or twice a week, usually. If I collect email addresses and contact details, I'd still be able to talk to them. I wouldn't be lost from them forever. Also, some of Jamie's closest friends have become close friends to me, even after a few short visits I have three or four people in mind that I know I could get on really well with.

Jamie's family was hospitable to me when we met, and Jamie confirms that now they've matured a bit, they're all very caring and considerate family members who would do all they could to help me settle in. Whereas my family here keep falling apart and causing rifts between themselves. My family is very compacted and while the family seems to fight and a family member goes stray from the family for a while, they always seem to come back together. Also: my mother insists on doing the [clothes] washing and keeps shrinking Jamie's clothes.

As for school/work: Jamie's decision of wanting to stay here felt like she was prepared to throw away the two years of education she'd persevered with, just for me. Middlesex has set her back by almost a year, but if we head away from that dump, Jamie can finish her schooling in America - I hate the idea that when Jamie gets older, she'll feel that she wasted two years of her life on a course she never completed. It also potentially gives her a career. With her qualifications, short-term, Jamie can only look forwards to retail here. And if I go to America, I lose my job at the games shop. But if truth be told, the place is losing money all over the place, and I might be bailing ship just as it's sinking. I don't mind retail, and from working I have a lot of money saved up (which, due to the weakness of the dollar, becomes a more impressive amount of money to start off with over there) to use until another job shows up.

Food, I can live with - aside from American cheese. That's one of the most putrid ideas the Americans have thought of. I'll miss savoury snacks, though. I sigh at the thought of no more Peperami, but I'll come to terms with that by eating more Combos than a human should. Jamie is also depressed at the lack of variety shops in Enfield offer for vegetarians here. Jamie's been forced to deal with eating more Quorn Premieres at McDonald's than she should have to. I'm content to experiment and try out new foods, and being able to eat meat I guess there's a larger variety of foods on offer for me there than there is here for her.

The biggest fear I have is how I'd get all my possesions over. I'm going to be selling a lot of items around this room on eBay in the immediate future, just to rack up extra money to take with me to the US. I also feel sad to lose the gaming collection I have. Realistically, however, I can continue the legacy in the US. And they do get the games out there earlier, don't they?

I mentioned in the post before, that I might have favours of some of you. Some people spring to mind with some problems, some favours are vague and more a hopeful thing that someone may be able to help with. But any help would be appreciated. Of course, this is all dependant on everything going through and me remaining in the US. But I'd rather give a fair warning to you all, so anyone that can help can tell me they can in advance.

Information on how a British person can get married in America - kemayo already found us a lot of helpful links. Thank you so much for everything you offered. It's helped Jamie feel more confident about the process to understand it can and has been done by someone before.

Assistance in moving possessions to the US - to put it in a less vague manner, does anyone want to go to New York when we go there? We couldn't help with the flight money, but we could try to help in terms of a place to stay. This will help me settle in and will also allow us to use your suitcases to bring our possessions over. But let's face it, you only need to take one suitcase when you travel to a place like New York - you'll be buying so many souvenirs and trinkets that you'll want a spare case to bring all those things home in.

Information on British music/television I'm missing out on while I'm gone - I have a few friends here who write about interesting television shows and new bands that they're impressed by. I will miss the humour of good British comedy - I don't see something like Peep Show getting anywhere in the US, and would bittorrent up any sliver of new and impressive comedy old Blighty produces. Likewise for small British bands that'll never make it to American radio stations. I'd like to be kept abreast of such things.

People who will trade British foods for American foods - you send strange foods I miss here, I send strange American foods you like there. This could extend to other items, if games don't get to certain regions, etc. Likewise, I'll do all I can to send someone something American, if they desire it. I imagine I'll have a bit of free time when I get over there, so having something to do would keep me active and content, at least.

Information on how to put a lot of things on eBay at the same time quickly - I have a lot to sell. Are there any power-selling programs around? Are any of them actually good?

I have all this and then some on my mind. Now you know why I'm not on AIM so much. Now you know why I don't post so much. The amount of determination in getting me out there is what is driving me right now, and everything else is less important.

Computer-y help - If I move, I lose my Blueyonder email account and my webspace. As a result, I need someone to help host things until I get a decent ISP in America and re-upload it. It'd be around 2-3Mb of space I need, if I trim the things I have uploaded. I have one email address which has nothing to do with blueyonder: I guess that'll end up being my primary email address.

Do you know what might be useful, after tutting and tsking over it before now? A gmail account. Just as a temporary account until I get something sorted out. Anyone have one of those invites spare?


Today I'm going to the police station to give information about myself to them, so I can get a police report showing I'm a very nice person in the future. This is helpful in allowing me to go over to the US. I'm going to head into town and sell a few games that I bought recently, that I can get good money for right now, rather than shoving them onto eBay slowly and their value depreciating. And then I work this evening - maybe Jamie can start to throw things onto eBay, if a good program can be found quickly.

Thanks for your time on this. Of everything I've written on here, this is the most important thing to me. If you've read this, it means a lot. If you can help with any of the problems, I'll be in your debt.

And with this post out of the way, I can go back to posting silly things. I'll get round to scanning the pieces of paper I wrote on during my US trip. You can see how (read: if) my mind works at 10,000 feet and you can find out just how much I hated transcontinental Peperami rivals.
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
← Ctrl ← Alt
Ctrl → Alt →
← Ctrl ← Alt
Ctrl → Alt →