Enfieldean

dean_r


There's a storm in my teacup!

Well, in my dollar store mug.


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Dean continues to be charmed.
They're Coming
dean_r
I walked past a lady of generic size and shape today, in her late 50s at a guess. As I walked past her, everything in her world slowed down. A second past her, she whispered "Hiiii..." and in curiosity more than anything, I turned to see her slowly turning around herself. She gazed at me, and then slowly scanned the bags I had in my hands.

"Whole... Foods..." she said, with the enunciation of a zombie.

And with these words, she's pulling me into her world! Time was slowing! The pauses in her words are feeling shorter and shorter, not for her talking faster, but because I was being dragged to her level - my mind was slowing down to cater for her!

"Yes. I was just there." It was all I could muster in response. I was captivated by her creeping tone.

I wave the plastic bags around to show my wares, and look on in horror as they seem to move through the air as if they were actually in water. It wasn't just speech that was slowing down - it was everything! EVERYTHING! I contemplated jumping to see if gravity was still working, but knew it bemuse the old dear in front of me, and I didn't want anything ridiculous to happen right now.

"I shop there..." Her words slithered out, as if they were exasperated to finally be free from inside her.

And with that I realised my thinking left her a pause to talk again, and with that chance she's grabbed the conversation and is as close to literally dragging it along as could be. Any more of this and I feared time might start to go backwards.

"They sell things... cheaper than other shops do..."

And then her face freezes for a few seconds. No more words. No blinking. No twitching of muscles around the face. Nothing. Her mouth has the shape of an 'O', only there based upon the last syllable she produced. And with that I freeze too, out of fear. I snap out of it and try to startle her with a dazzling response.

"Yes. Yes, they sell some interesting things."

Deservedly, that got no reaction. I looked at her, in her state of void. And then it happens. Saliva starts to protrute from the gaping orifice. Drool sleekly crawls down her face. These globules sent terror of globular proportions through me. I was getting the fear.

"I think I should go now."

The dribble drops from her chin down to the floor in slow-motion, but crashes with a feeling of reverberation, like every alarm clock in the world chiming in unison in my head. It set the world going again. It let me leave his wretched moment. It even shocked the wraith into life again, and with a snort her mouth snapped shut, and she assessed me again.

"...You should go to Whole Foods... they sell things."
"Okay. But I really must go. I have items for the freezer in these bags. They might melt."

I turned and walked and didn't look back. For all I know she's still there. My hands tremble slightly at the thought that she might be causing all manner of distortion to the world. But maybe people like her are what the world truly needs. True characters.

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Oh my God. I don't know who I find more fascinating, Zombie Drool Woman or Angry Purple Headed Bus Man.

oh my god, dean.

honestly, I started chuckling towards the beginning and was laughing hysterically by the end. i can't explain it, this post is astonishing.

God, I wish I could remember moments in time like you can. :O *has a goldfish memory*

But...did she have crazy eyes?

I've lived in NYC all my life and haven't met the kind of people you have in one or two days. XD

Dean, Sir, you are still rather good at this whole ancedotes thing. :D

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