Dean Rivers (dean_r) wrote,
Dean Rivers

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It's A Difficult Job Sometimes

Things are in motion again.

Jamie has become calmer post-interview, and has her joie de vivre back - with this, things can go back to a more fun lifestyle. We can dream of doing ridiculous things for these winter months, and get on with them when it becomes tolerable to do it. I like the fact that I'm pretty much here now and every experience we have will be considered a good thing, whereas we had to be so cautious with money and work as much as we could, lest I be deported for the fear I could be a public charge.

Not to blow my own trumpet about the presents, but I'm pleasantly surprised how much the camera and tripod seemed to spark things into motion. A muse came back for Jamie in terms of photography - there's a desire in her to learn all about this new camera and take some excellent pictures. I've stolen her camera as my own, to some extent, and I like the prospect of always having a camera on me as well. I know Jamie's the one with more talent, but it's nice to have a try myself and do things that others can appreciate. Alongside this, people are starting to take notice of the prowess Jamie has. One request to take engagement party pictures. Another person suggested the idea of Jamie taking wedding photos for them. Several requests for larger versions of pictures Jamie has uploaded. I think once Jamie gets the chance to go for this fully, it could really get somewhere.

Friends are starting to show up again. I have to admit, I needed some space from this pressure of meeting people for the plans to fall apart at the seams. Jamie is very much a people person and winter is very much a nightmare of a month to try to do anything. Even this nicer winter for New Jersey standards has been a pain in so many ways for communicating with friends. But tomorrow we have pancakes with some friends and meet someone else for pretty much the rest of the day, and I am sure that now the weather should get better, every Monday we take off could be used meeting a different person, if so desired. That's important to Jamie.

I still want to try to do something that I feel is personally significant. Not sure what, but something constructive and something I feel proud of. All I have for now are hair-brained notions of playing card designs and maybe designing another font, but they seem such small-scale ideas and need too much time on a computer to actually complete. I'm kind of happier with the idea of not setting up an extensive schedule of working on a computer for this spring. I'd rather be outside. Maybe I'll try baby steps and simply learn how to put some music onto an mp3 player, and then go and take some pictures that make me happy. It's pretty much all I can do for this month. Maybe icons. Maybe icons from pictures I've taken. Hmm. Maybe that design for Jamie's journal. That still needs to be done. Maybe even a notion of designing something for me! I never really think of change as a necessity in certain places, but maybe. Always lots of little jobs I could do. All I have to is rack them up and that might show I'm capable of doing things over time, at least.

Now I have this green card in the mail, and it'll arrive real soon, I have the ability to go to England and see family again whenever I desire. I wonder if that's a good idea, to travel back. I mean, in terms of getting stuck in the past, could it be dangerous? It's good to remember my past, but I'm not certain if I'll develop more by seeing things there all over again, with new opinions and views. Apparently, this British food is going to be positively awful and upset Jamie's stomach all over again, but past that I have no idea of what else may occur.

I should listen to music more. Not even Jamie's music or the music from over here, but music back home. I have CDs lying around but never put the effort in. I think that mp3 player is the primary thing to fix up and do real soon. Tuesday's a good day to try for that. Let's see if I can still set myself targets past this interview, and do constructive things when I get the chance to.

I think I'm trying to think of things to do on Tuesday because this week the work schedule I get is quite different to Jamie's, and I want something to do so I don't miss her. It's nice knowing I'm with someone I really love and not even a few thousand miles and all manner of stipulations stops this relationship.

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