Dean Rivers (dean_r) wrote,
Dean Rivers

Another Day In A Library

I think in all honesty I have always been an isolated soul and content with my own company, but I am feeling remarkably detached right now.

I am not in the wrong crowds; I am in no crowds consistently. And it's beginning to get on my nerves a little. I should be able to fix it, but never find the starting point to do so or the consistent company.

I need to look into moving, I think, if I don't find my place here soon.

I hunted through an old address book I found and realised that I miss New York/New Jersey, and the people from around there. I felt more at home there because I didn't fit in as well there. In the same way Enfield was too identikit in a negative way, here is just another sector of identikit lifestyle, but a more alternative version which I'm not able to interact with properly, apparently. At least with larger cities like New York and London, there is inevitably a larger mix of eclectic creatures and people are appreciated for their perspective being different, whereas here in Washington I feel different in an irrelevant manner. I evidently need to find more people to talk to and subjects to talk about, subjects that don't revolve around my comfortable subjects like games or British television. Obviously that doesn't help me too much either.

And what direction should I head towards in terms of making something with my spare time? Photography is a useful distraction but I'm not enjoying it so much right now. I realise I enjoyed taking photos in the past because I had good company and someone to bounce ideas off of in Jamie, and again, consistently I haven't found someone to take pictures with.

Next week I'm set to work for five days. On the other two days I want to set the target of just meeting someone I know and doing something with them. A low attainable target. Time will tell.

253-468-1470. I'm available for bothering.

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