Dean Rivers (dean_r) wrote,
Dean Rivers

  • Mood:

[A]bort, [R]etry, [F]ail

The best way to get yourself in a better frame of mind is to be more comfortable with your surroundings. If you're calm with what's around you, you can be calmer when you try to forget what is around you and focus on yourself. At this point in time, my bedroom is the easiest place to fix. So I start here.

The post that sparked this concept of making myself less frustrated with life in Washington initially described a frustration for the limited space I felt I had in this household. I must use the space I have better but also use it less. Make the room more comfortable to be in, but also use it less and get out more. I've nailed things up and put up some posters over the dents in the wall where nails didn't want to stay affixed. I haven't put posters up since I moved to America. I haven't tried to affix myself.

I bought into Clearwire broadband today. Clearwire is a type of high-speed connection that gets its signal from radio towers. It was the best idea in terms of just getting it done, due to no installation time and no re-wiring of the household was required. However, since I've started to use it, I'm finding the connection seems a little slow. I'm trying to work out if this is just me being spoiled by fast library speeds or if I'm just suffering from a temperamental service. I'll test the machine on a speed-checking website in a bit. But I do need a connection so that I don't think going to the library is "going out". I'm going to install Skype and have an easy way to communicate with my family back in England. I miss them. This lack of easy communication with them is a part of the problem. Once I'm sure this is what I need (i.e. if these connection jitters stop) I can also get my thoughts written and posted more easily, without restrictions that libraries offer, or the obligatory drinks I must purchase at the local bar with WiFi. With more time, I don't have to thrash out hastily-thought messages.

So: two things done. But I've got to keep myself going. I also need to make this household and room a space where I want to invite friends to. It's a difficult notion as it's a very warm place for the summer, but it's still a base that people can relax in if I organise myself and itself better. Simple little comforts. A knee-high table so people can lay around it and play cards or Scrabble or some game on this laptop, or even watch a show together. I need more people in my life and I need here to be a comfortable place for people to crash at. So, beyond the putting things up, I throw away the clutter and organise things better so they're hidden. I think this can be done pretty easily. Just need to get on with it. Lastly, I need to get Jamie to find a good credit card company or two to switch some of our debts onto. The "no interest for X period of time" with transfers type of company. Bank of America is screwing us over.

And it doesn't stop there. Next week will involve getting picatyou going again, which entails devoting 20-30 minutes to writings on the internet each day and taking the camera out and about and embracing the local Tacoma surroundings, alongside the majority of the 'friends' I can never manage to meet up with. It'll be the right time to either meet up with them or give up on them. Week three could involve a livejournal cull, or some kind of custom filter being set up. If I do, I'll let people know what's going on closer to the time.

The last week'll be an assessment of things, looking at finances, looking at what I'm going to do medium to long term; until February 2008 and beyond. I typically trust myself with decisions if I'm more impulsive on the matter, maybe thinking about something so vague now isn't wise, but it's got to be thought about at some point and it'll get me thinking differently. I can't leave a decision on the next chapter in my life until the last minute. I'll see if I can get my debts lowered enough that I can consider a short weekend trip somewhere. I think the best direction to head towards is Canada. That's another country I can add to the map of places visited. Otherwise, I'll go wherever a cheap and efficient train/bus could take me. When I left England the last few weeks were filled with so much energy that I was truly living. For the last weeks in Glen Rock I got to have a similar feeling, though the emotions weren't as strong. Maybe if I can tie some good memories to this place, truly live here, I'll be more comfortable with the notion of staying.

If I don't intend to move, what do I want out of Tacoma? What do I want to feel comfortable? The video games I buy are my distractions from the outside world. So less of those and more things that involve interaction and meeting new people. I should buy a pool cue eventually, though typically the people that buy pool cues are the type that're proficient with them. For every dollar I spend on the cue I should expect to spend twice as much becoming very good at pool with the cue. I really have lost the talent that I thought I had as a youngster.

  • Ooh, hello.

    I remembered how to log in on here. Gosh, dredging up the past is like using one of those snakes to get the gunk out of the bathtub. Apparently I…

  • FIFA Test

    This came up while playing FIFA 12. A bit of NBA Elite-style Jesus-posin'! This is also me posting it into LJ to see if I can find a workaround to…

  • Wow

    You know what? I used to write a load of stuff in here. It was only when a family member from back in England asked how long it's been since I got…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 1 comment