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Enfieldean

dean_r


There's a storm in my teacup!

Well, in my dollar store mug.


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I CAN HAS SCRIPT
The Crooked Smile
dean_r
I began talking to the rather fabulously eccentric Meisje Regensburg about the notion of scriptwriting a few weeks ago, based upon her casual interest in a certain fellow on the left and the scriptwriting form of NaNoWriMo. I pondered what I could put together if I really wanted to. I like my quirky sense of humour when it kicks into gear; I think a bit differently, and I can put some fun ideas together.

Over the course of this evening, whilst being a bit delirious from sickness, the plot develops and thickens and I can see some kind of substance to it. A beginning, a middle, a few segues for some truly terrible jokes and character development, and a finale with Christopher Walken showing up dressed like a dog's dinner, if the dog were one of the Queen's corgis.

This is all kind of meshed and paraphrased from the conversation on AIM. Enjoy if you've the patience to read, the talent to fathom where my mind is bouncing around - when an idea forms, imagine it to be like a hard boiled egg in a washing machine, spinning around with a force rivalled by a putrid smell.

[23:33:56] tacomaelstrom: I had my idea for the film script which'd allow Christopher Walken to be THE EVIL HYPNOTIST.

[23:34:38] tacomaelstrom: A guy who was a hypnotist's assistant (though more of a stage show format than that video) and was corrupted by all the things he'd had to do. So when he sees a red light in a car he can't stop scratching his head, and far more ridiculous tics than that. A journey of self-rediscovery and who he really is and how he tries to fix himself. Yadda yadda confrontation with evil hypnotist who enjoys toying with him. He's essentially Joe Nobody, he earns a quick buck being "that guy" in the audience. He always gets plucked from the audience, for "he's easier to knock into a deep sleep" and so on. And so nobody notices just how deep the hypnotism is, not even him.

[23:37:33] Meisje Regensburg: will christopher walken be dressed in victorian garb?
[23:38:08] tacomaelstrom: I think the idea is that he'll be dressed elegantly and a little pompously in the stage show, but we find behind the scenes that he's downplaying how fancy he likes to look. So victorian garb could be a good plan, but I don't know. I just see the cliché of films: the rich man having a monocle popping from his eye, and I could see him doing that tastefully but without it being obvious. Maybe.
[23:42:23] Meisje Regensburg: an updated, moderny kinda victorian garb, maybe

[23:42:44] tacomaelstrom: I can see the Joe Nobody being your darling Nick Frost.
[23:43:15] tacomaelstrom: And he'd have a scruffy cat he found, and it'd be called Pavlov, because he'd find it a twisted type of name to give.

[23:46:55] tacomaelstrom: I'd have to give his character a fancy name as well, it wouldn't even be his real name, it'd be whatever the hypnotist wanted to call him. The title might well be "Q, Right On Cue" and he'd get a really extravagant name like Quentin. Could be a last name that begins with Q, and it could be called Mr. Q, Right On Cue, but that sounds too long. Or it might be called something else entirely.
[23:50:42] Meisje Regensburg: where'd you get the idea for the title?
[23:52:12] tacomaelstrom: Well, the idea of the film is that the fellow is so struck with tics he doesn't even notice and/or understand. I mean, I don't want him to realise how obnoxious he's being, but he'll start to realise when he has things happen to triggers - right on cue. Again, with Pavlov's cat around and the notion of Walken having wiped a memory, giving him the flamboyant name and exotic/quirky lifestyle Walken wished he could have.
[23:52:51] tacomaelstrom: Maybe Quention, based off of Quentin Crisp, an extravagant and wonderful man with many soundbites.
[23:53:06] Meisje Regensburg: i love that name
[23:54:03] tacomaelstrom: But I don't know. That could twist, but I'd like to have some kind of title like that, with some type of pun involved. It's just got that quirky zing to it. I don't know if it needs Mr. or not. I think not as it'd almost be a bit insulting for our pompous Walken that this fellow, this embodiment of what he wishes he could be, is a humble Mr. and not a Viscount or something.

[23:55:12] tacomaelstrom: It all came from a joke that got into my head, based upon a conversation. Let's say I don't want to be drunk but I was in a place that prided itself on its mixed drinks. I mean, these are real elitist snobs. They're not serving you unless the drinks are coming from two entities, two taps, two glasses, whatever. And so I pondered what would be the least alcoholic for me, and was tempted to ask for a coke... and a sprite. End result has to be a bollock naked Nick Frost tied to a lamp-post, quacking like a duck when a car honks at him.

[00:01:25] tacomaelstrom: I had the idea that Frosty would be doing this for a girl, that he'd be in that bar because her parents wanted to meet him, and he likes her enough to go way out of his depth here. That in the past he has gotten himself quite into a drink of choice, whatever the man prefers mixed, to handle his problems in this manner. And being in a bar makes him crave that drink, but he goes for the least alcohol possible to ensure he doesn't make an arse of himself.

[00:03:01] tacomaelstrom: And so he'd be there with girl and parents, calmly sitting around, and as the parents get so excited by his life stories, he feels her losing her interest in him. After all, girls aren't meant to like the guys the parents want to pair them up with. He gets more anxious and remembers himself more, or, well, forgets the tics he's had to endure for so long, because he's concentrating so hard on making her happy, while also concentrating on not being an arse. But he's becoming that ideal boyfriend, that one the parents would love to choose, and she needs a rebel: he's losing any chance of getting her to like him. He was on his best behaviour, keeping to mild drinks, but changes tack. He goes for sabotage, he gets totally hammered. I mean, we're talking about him taking the mother to the side and whispering into her ear that he doesn't really have an interest in her and just wanted her for sex, and the mother just laughs it off as eccentric humour, and the girl gets more agitated that he's making her mother laugh so heartily in their own little inside joke. And then the frightening admissions to try to get a negative reaction from the parents, but totally alienating him from her - his season of Project Runway, or something completely unmacho that he owns. Cue the parents laughing and saying how they prefer him to her ex. And that's the last he sees of her for most of the film.

[00:08:17] tacomaelstrom: I think I'm just going to paraphrase this and throw it in LJ.

Right, that's it. Nothing else to write. I blame your questionable curiosity into what the hell my head can make up.

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This sounds fun and you should totally do it. :)

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